Just wanted to say a quick thanks for all the love I received yesterday. It was inspiring to be supported and loved on by this blogging community. And quick update: she seemed to do ok yesterday. J received a couple of photos via email (they somehow have my email address wrong). Although she did cry again at drop off today and I am hoping this will pass as she gets acclimated to her new surroundings and friends.

I also want to take another quick moment to get a little preachy.  I was overwhelmed at the prayers and love I got about E.  But through it I found that I often ask or pray for the wrong things.  As a Christian and  person in general, the easy and go-to in times of strife and struggle we ask Him for Why.  Why is this happening or why me?  We outcry with a longing for an answer.  Its human nature really to want to know why.  Perhaps its because we are taught to perpetually ask why and look for the answer to figure things out.  We toil for hours with puzzles, Sudoku, crosswords, you get my point.  So yes, its the first thing we ask when we go into prayer.

But what I realized that it didn't matter what the answer was in this situation as in so many.  What I actually needed was the harder.  I needed comfort, I needed her doctors and caregivers to have knowledge and strength to look for answers.  I needed the words and strength for her, to be able to comfort her and be her rock.  I needed grace. Grace not only for myself but for her and my husband. I also needed rest.

So I went to him with a different prayer this time around.  I asked not what I thought I needed but what would get me through the long struggle instead of the short hurdle. So while she screamed at needles and the pokes and prodes I prayed for comfort for her and strength for me and wisdom and knowledge of her doctors.  I found so much more solace in these prayers.  And though we still do not have answers, I know that I can deal with whatever comes my way.

So, whether you consider yourself a Christian or not, believer or not, I challenge you to stop looking for they why in life.