The Friends Every Woman Needs: Your Tribe
I know that you have probably read articles or posts about the friends you need in your life. It's nothing new. Women are naturally social beings and crave the community of other women. And let's be honest, we need those women in our lives. They are our Girl Tribe. And this will tribe will most likely change as you move into different phases of life, but some will be steadfast and permanent fixtures because they are your anchor to the past. But what is truly important is that your tribe gives you what you need and you give in return. They each serve a distinct purpose in your life. Here are the friends I think every woman needs.
1. A childhood Friend (The Anchor). This person has known you the longest. They are you anchor to your childhood, your past and who are truly are no matter what. You do not talk to her often perhaps, but when you do its like time has never passed. They knew you when you were still figuring yourself out as an awkward teen. They wrote you endless notes in high school (that you still have somewhere in a box) and they're mom probably thinks of you as her own. She is steadfast and will be at your funeral. Cherish her and that relationship. She will remind you of where you came from and that no matter what you are still you.
2. A College Friend(s). Most women tend to keep these friends past college. Perhaps its because its when we became adults and they are often the most recent friends we have made. They knew you when you are figuring yourself out. They held you hair back when you had a few too many drinks an never judged you when you did the walk of shame. They were in your wedding and are important because they share so much with you. But remember, sometimes they served a distinct role in your life for a time period and its ok to let them go if you need to. But there will always be one that holds fast and tight til the end.
3. A New Friend. As we get older, its easy to get into a comfort zone (i.e. our college friends). But new friends ignite new things and new thoughts and broaden our horizons. They are the now. They meet you as you come at this moment. So, you need one or two. Its the new colleague, the girl in your workout class, the mom of your kid's best friend. She will be important for that all important jon change, or new house you want.
4. The Know It All. Literally, she knows it all. She has a list a mile long of everything and everyone you need to know from pediatricians to plumbers. She is well-connected and just can get sh!t done. She is super organized and seemingly has it together, but is the first one to totally b!tch about her kids with you over wine, no judgment. But obviously, she knows the perfect spot for said wine.
5. The Workout Warrior. If one of your BFFs or BOFFs is a fitness buff, she will motivate you, she will help you stick to your goals. Perhaps she meets you for that 6am class or late night run. She knows all the new trendy workouts and will totally do that Whole30 with you. She will be your biggest cheerleader and literally snatch that candy out of your hand.
6. The Work Friend. She's the one who has your back at work. Whether you're flinging fries at a fast-food restaurant or hammering up against the glass ceiling on Wall Street, she's the one who clues you into workplace crap, catches your mistakes and corrects them, and drags you out at 5 p.m. for a much-needed cocktail. She also keeps your secrets, and pumps you up at every turn, even saying you could be your boss's boss. You can gossip with her without fear of it getting out.
You can tell her your goals and she won’t be envious because she has some of her own. She will also listen to you gripe about kids and babies.
7. The Tell You The Hard Truth. She holds nothing back. She will hurt your feelings, but do it out of love. She will call you on your stuff and tell you to quit complaining and do something about it. And then she will help you develop a plan.
8. The Spiritual One. Her faith is rock-solid. But she is not in your face. She is there to pray for you no matter what. She pours into you and speaks truth to you. She pushes you truly face the darkness and then walk out of the wilderness and into the light. But she doesn't judge. You can lose your way and she is still there for you, secretly praying for you and hoping you will find your way back. She will be the friend that will see you through your darkest hours and walk through it with you, gracefully, willingly and with love.
9. The Fashion Guru. She knows just what you need. She knows the sales, the high-end, what's in and what's out and what is coming back. This one looks good no matter what and even though you want to hate you, you don't because she opens her closet to you any time. She is also always up for shopping. Oh, she also is your makeup guru too.
10. The One You Tell Everything To. You have no boundaries with her. Rash on your butt, you text her a photo. Health scare, first call. Child driving you nuts, you tell her you want to strangle them without fear of CPS knocking on your door. She picks up no matter what, night or day. This friend, she listens when you cry about your ex, hate your job, feel fat, are in the deepest depression and offers to book the next flight. Choose this one wisely because you will divulge your inner most thoughts to her and need her to be fearless, but a true friend.
11. The Younger Friend. She keeps you young. She knows what is hip and happening and reminds you that life is short and sometimes you need to let go. She also needs you more than you know. You offer sage advice, but are there to hold her when she doesn't listen. She reminds you of you at that age.
12. Mom Friends. Whether you are a mom or not. If you are a mom, you need those people who get it. If you are not a mom, you need those women to show you what its like. They also need you to feel like their old-self again.
Now, some of these ladies will serve dual purposes. Some might check off 3-4 boxes. But you need these type of women in your life. I admit its harder to make friends as you get older. We get so caught up in our own lives and kids and career that we forget that we used to just sit on the couch and eat Ben & Jerry's and gab. So, ask that mom you see at daycare drop off everyday to coffee or a playdate. That women you see at Target every Saturday, say hi. And do not forget your friends. Call them to check in on them just because. Make time for them. Include them even if you think they will say no. Often they are just waiting to be asked. And be ok with letting some friendships go. Times change, people change, circumstances change and its ok to let them go when you realize you no longer need them.
And now I have rambled on and on, but ya'll, so important and I am beyond blessed that so many of you are apart of my tribe.
Who is in your #momtribe?