Thoughts on a Thursday

Hey all. I have been on the struggle bus this week. I have a big motion due Monday so I have been chained to my computer to knock it out.  I also have just been tired and fighting a cold. Oh, and my back hurts. You know, all the things. But, I am still trudging along.

I had a long good thought provoking post scheduled for today and then I just decided I would sit down and write, stream of conscious thought. Fear.

How many of you are sitting out there in discontent?  You want something and you may not know what it is, but you know you want it.  But alas, fear.  I hate that word because it conjures images of stopped in your tracks can't move because you are scared shitless. But its not that fear I am speaking of. No, its the other fear that stops us in our tracks. Fear of the unknown, the what ifs and best yet, what will people think?

These are all the things that have continuously held me back in life and kept me in the state of discontent.  It kept me locked in an unhealthy relationship for 5 years that turned into a marriage that was perhaps doomed to failed from the outset. Who knows.  It kept me away from the church and finding true Love in Christ.  It kept me locked into thinking I needed to work 80 hours a week in Big Law in order to be successful. And it kept me from pursuing so many opportunities for true personal fulfillment. Darn you fear.

So, fear latches onto the other sin in our lives, comfort.  Comfort you say? A sin?  Yes.  Being comfortable keeps us from truly experiencing life, love and a relationship with Christ.  It keeps us from pursuing dreams, hopes, and wants.  It causes relationships to suffer and our own faith in ourselves to die.  It is only when you are uncomfortable that change happens.  Its stepping outside of your comfort zone that enables you to move forward.

Now, I am not saying that all creatures comforts are bad.  No, routine can be good.  I mean, I have a toddler at home who thrives on routine and comfort and this mama won't touch that.  No, I am talking about becoming comfortable in our own situation that we dare not try something new, meet someone new, hope, wish, strive for something better.

I say all of this from experience.  For so long I knew I wanted something that was just all my own.  Do not get my wrong, I love my job and family and out little life, but I just knew I wanted something that I was truly passionate about to work for and grow.

I was close to that dream with another friend of mine, but God had other plans.  Sure, I was disappointed and let down, but I just decided in that moment that I would be open to finding something else.  And sure enough, when I was least expecting it, the door was opened.

It has allowed me to have true passion about something.  It is allowing me to be just uncomfortable enough to feel empowered.  It has tapped into all my fears and is slowly allowing me to break through them.

So, my plea to all of you is to stop letting fear control your life.  If you want something do it and be open to opportunities when presented. And support other women other moms in their endeavors. I know we are all bombarded with business things and can get tired of the pitch, but remember behind that pitch or ask or invite is a mom/women just like you who took a chance and is trying to fulfill her dream. Give her a chance, because it may be that He is sending you a sign.